It seems we have so much going on in our lives that some of us don’t make the time to stop and check our happiness gauge. I had a client once who told me she was unhappy for 17 years but had been too busy to notice.

Is this true for you? When was the last time you asked yourself if you were happy? And I don’t mean just a little bit happy or kinda sorta happy; I mean really happy? The thing is, a big part of our life’s purpose is to be happy. Nobody is doomed to a life of unhappiness.

I recently had a conversation with my fabulously successful photographer and friend Claudine Lavoie. She has a brilliant photography business, a husband, two kids, two dogs and a really big acreage with enough grass to keep her busy full time. How does she manage it all? Hang on, I’ll tell you in a minute.

You see I have this idea in my head that I should be able to live my ideal life. This includes all sorts of things I want to be, do and have. I have so many ideas that sometimes I make my own head spin. But hey, the truth is, I want to have a fabulously successful life! And who doesn’t? I have a feeling that a lot of women are thinking the same thing.

So how can a woman be fabulously successful?

She really only needs ONE thing!

Support!

(Yep, you got it…my fabulously successful friend Claudine has support!)

Nearly every woman I have ever met has expressed a desire to love her body. If you find yourself in a room full of women, chances are good topics about how to be more beautiful and tips and tricks will surely arise.

In my opinion though, if you want to love your body the first thing you should do is turn your attention away from it. Now I’m not suggesting you ignore the needs of your body but rather stop looking to your body as a means of arriving to body love.

In other words focusing on how to be more beautiful, dieting, exercising harder and implementing all sorts of tips and tricks will not be the source of your body love. While they may be helpful they are not the means.

Have you ever wondered about that woman who has a fit and trim body? You know, the one who happens to have great skin, perfect children, a trained husband who listens and money to burn so she can fill her closet and take yearly vacations. This is the woman whose life is all that AND a bag of chips. Do you know her? I know I did.

There are a few different reactions when I bring up this woman to other women. One reaction is what I call the perplexed head scratch. This is when it’s a mystery as to how one woman can have it all. The other is what I call the trigger button. This is when “the woman” is referred to as “the skinny bitch.” Then there is the victim reaction. This reaction is usually filled with sad life stories, which offer comfort and justification. And last but not least, the tolerant reaction. This reaction simply accepts that life is the way it is and it will never get any better.

I recently coached a beautiful young woman whose parents were concerned about some of her behaviors. After speaking with this young woman in depth, it was clear she was fully aware of what she was doing and why she was doing it.

She spoke bravely of her insecurities and like every woman I encounter, she simply wants to feel good about herself.

So instead of encouraging this young woman to hit the gym, transform her wardrobe or spoil herself silly with the latest surgical techniques, I suggested she hang out with herself.

I left her with an important affirmation and some really great questions that would guide her in becoming more self-aware. We agreed that our focus was to ‘work-out’ and strengthen her self-esteem muscle. It’s not a quick fix, but it’s real and it works.

When you grew up were you taught to ‘reach for the stars’, ‘go for what you want’, ‘you can do anything you put your mind to’?

If this was your reality consider yourself one of the few.

Most of us grew up very streamline: go to school, get an education or a job, get married, have kids, take the odd vacation, work to 65 years old, retire and then at some point… die.

When I met my husband over ten years ago, I was introduced to a family of entrepreneurs and risk-takers.

Clayton’s father was a successful businessman in the construction industry, he owned and operated a few of his own businesses and he was a successful deer farmer and an inventor.

I have spewed off so many negative things about myself throughout my lifetime. Just thinking about it now makes me cringe.

I’m not nearly as mean to myself now as I used to be in the past, but I admit that I still have my moments every now and again.

A few years back I made a new rule there would be no more talking shit about my mistakes, my imperfections or whatever else I deemed personally unacceptable. It felt good to have my own back, to protect myself from myself.

Are you just a big ol’ meany to yourself?

Most people admit they are their worst critics and others are not even consciously aware of it at all.

I once caught myself brushing my teeth and trying to sweep the floor!

Seriously, can you picture this? Go try it out! It’s freaking ridiculous and totally hilarious.

I’m not exactly sure what my thought process was in that moment but it is definitely a typical “Carmen” move.

Have you ever had a food hangover?

You eat too much and the next day your body feels like shit. It’s just like having an alcohol hangover minus the lack of sleep.

Well last week (Thursday to be exact) I sat down to watch my favorite TV show (Survivor) with my hubby and our newest family member Jen (our live-in caregiver and a complete God send).

I was sure I had stooped to an all-time low the day I ate my daughter's left over chicken nugget off the dirty floor of my mini van. Here's how it all went down..

I was having a day from hell, one of those days where I spent the entire morning yelling at my kids to get their clothes on, their shoes, their sweaters... "hurry up, we're gonna be late!" Next it was the car seat challenge, I don't know about your kids, but mine insist on getting into their seats all by themselves. In theory, this is nice, it displays independence as well as exercises motor skills, but when mommy is in a rush because she hit the snooze button one too many times... well you get my point. I'm not expecting any "mother of the year" awards, that's for sure.