Thursday, 08 December 2011 13:52

How to love yourself even when you screw up!

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We all have our moments. We do things that make us feel bad about ourselves. We choose behaviors we're ashamed of. We say things we're not proud of. And at the end of the day, when we screw up, we sit in guilt, shame and powerlessness.

But imagine if we loved ourselves unconditionally. How would it impact our lives if we loved ourselves despite our errors? Even if we screwed up over and over again and made the same mistake over and over again... what if we loved ourselves anyway?

Some may argue that we are giving ourselves permission to behave inappropriately and while there may be merit to this claim I tend to have a little more faith in the human race.

 

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I can’t help but think that if we continue to make the same mistake over and over again there is a reason for it. And if we go to a party and blurt out the wrong thing it must be coming from somewhere.

So instead of beating ourselves up isn’t it worth taking a deeper look? Don’t we deserve the benefit of the doubt? Isn’t a little self-investigation and reflection worth the time?

When we get angry with ourselves because of our mistakes, weaknesses and imperfections, we are only choosing battle and the war is with ourselves!

Imagine if your child continued to make the same mistake. Would it ever occur to you that there might be something deeper going on? Would you ever consider that you might need to look beyond the circumstance with a little private eye work?

Getting angry and instilling guilt and shame does not solve the problem. It only makes the situation worse. When we choose this approach we are only causing a bigger problem; we are now impacting self-esteem and self-worth, which as we know, can become a life-long problem and heavy baggage that we can carry around for years and years.

When you make a mistake, if you have a weakness or an addiction, imperfections or character flaws, the best way to approach yourself is with compassion, love and understanding. To me, this is when we make some real headway into solving the problem.

So how do you love yourself even when you screw up? Here it is in its simplest form: You give yourself no other option but to love yourself anyway. You quiet all the harsh and judgmental voices in your head and you do what God would do: you forgive yourself.

These are perfect opportunities for personal growth. We need to ask for Divine assistance so we can understand why we are behaving the way we are. We need to ask God to help us see what it is that we are needing to see.

When we choose to care for ourselves this way the war within ourselves is over. When the war is over, our mistakes, weaknesses and addictions slowly begin to fall away and we can uncover and deal with the real causes of our problems.

Next time you make a mistake consider loving yourself through it. Refuse to listen to the voices in your head that tell you anything otherwise. Be diligent in seeing yourself in the same way the Divine sees you.

This is how you love yourself… even when you screw up.

 "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Buddha

Read 1640 times Last modified on Saturday, 16 March 2013 11:30

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